Hot Rod Lincoln—and Chupacabras

Here’s Asleep at the Wheel performing “Hot Rod Lincoln”:

I’ve always liked that song and, when I was composing some chupacabra-related doggerel, I decided the song would be a good inspiration. Here’s the result:

Have you heard chupacabras are out in the brush?
If they find a goat, they’ll come in a rush.
That story is true, I’m here to say,
And don’t you be saying there ain’t no way.

Not many has seen them and lived to tell.
They look like a creature come up from Hell,
But I has seen one, yessiree,
And I’m here to tell it, glory be.

I was home at my ranch way out away,
Resting my bones from a wearying day.
I’d tasted the squeezin’s to check they was good,
And washed out the dishes as best as I could.

It was late at night in the middle of June,
Was dark as a pit, ‘cause there weren’t no moon.
I heard a noise and checked it out.
Then I saw it; there weren’t no doubt.

A chupacabra was in my pen.
I drew a bead and that was when
He went and hid behind my truck,
So I couldn’t shoot my double-aught buck.

Now I bar the windows and lock the door.
A strong shot of whiskey is what I pour.
Them chupacabras has drove me to drinkin’,
‘Cause I can’t get ‘em out of my thinkin’.

They drove me to drinkin’ and squeezin’ more corn,
And stayin’ up listenin’, awaitin’ for morn.
I take me a nip and look for what moves,
And nip a bit more, ‘cause what’s there to lose?

Now Abraham Lincoln was known for the truth,
As sure as he was shot by Booth.
I swear it’s true on old Abe Lincoln;
Them chupacabras has drove me to drinkin’.

Amusing Doggerel

I like to write doggerel and probably will sometimes post samples I have written.  But I just wish I wrote the sample below.  I don’t know the identity of the author.  This bit showed up as an unattributed quote in a Facebook post:

Whether the weather be good,
Or whether the weather be not,
Whether the weather be cold,
Or whether the weather be hot,
We’ll weather the weather
Whatever the weather
Whether we like it or not.